We'll All Become Stories

Picking up a Romance Writers Report dated May 2015, I scanned through and saw an announcement on page 15 listing romance writers who had died between March 2014 and March 2015 and it included on the list, Gwynne Forster.

She was Gwendolyn Johnson Acsadi, a demographer who was formerly a chief of section in the United Nations Population Division.

In the mid-1990's, we spoke when she retired from the United Nations.  At the time we were neighbors at Roosevelt Island, an island in the East River of New York City.

I asked, what were her plans?  

"This may surprise you, " she said, "I am learning to write romance novels, writing under the pen name of Gwynne Forster. I would appreciate it if you would keep this a secret because I am trying to keep my publications as a demographer and romance writer separate."  

Her decision to shift into such a different field intrigued me, and I could not help but follow her accomplishments over the years from successful demographer to accomplished writer of romance novels and  pioneer of African American romance fiction.  

She ended up merging these seemingly disparate experiences by using her research and demographic expertise to form stories. She took studies about birth and death, sex and reproduction, the consequences of unplanned pregnancies, issues of social class, economic poverty and brought them to life in the world of romance novels.  An illustrative example is shown here, in her book Fire Down Below.

At the bottom of the page of the Memoriam was a quote by Margaret Atwood saying,  "In the end, we'll all become stories."  

The question then becomes, who will write them?

In Gwen's case she delivered her stories to us in a well planned package.

The Art of Knowing When to Hold and When to Fold

A friend of mine told me he asked his brother if he had prepared a will and his brother replied, "What do I need that for?  I'm not dead yet!"

Kenny Rogers, when he sang "The Gambler" sang "You've got to know when to hold'em,  know when to fold ''em and know when to walk away and know when to run," and this rings true not only for holding cards but also for furniture, clothing, old sports equipment and dishes, pots and pans and magazines.

A recent article by Elizabeth O'Brian called  The Power of Positive Purging Your Stuff says that "while a monetary gift is sure to please heirs, an overstuffed house presents a more complicated inheritance".   

Imagine inheriting a house with a sign placed over the door saying it is  The Museum of Things We Forgot to Throw Away Just In Case We Might Need Them In The Future.

We spend so much time and money on  expensive gift wrapping and bright ribbons to wrap gift items, but don't necessarily view our plans for inheritance in the same way and often leave it to be presented to the receiver unwrapped, or at least poorly wrapped in newspaper or heaped up in cardboard boxes and the like, complicated by weak instructions as to where all this stuff is supposed to go.

Giving someone a streamlined, well-prepared transfer of funds, furniture and funk, is not so hard.  It just takes a bit of energy and a slight change in perspective.

Not too long ago, I blogged an article on my own personal experience on becoming a minimalist and another on a strategy for getting rid of old things and another on simple steps toward  estate planning.
Yes, this did mean looking at the future and realizing I won't always be in it.  That is not the happiest thought, perhaps.

But it is also not very pleasant to look ahead and see piles and piles of items left in heaps for others to sort through, and to imagine already exhausted adult children,  holding down jobs and taking care of their own children, trying to straighten out the mess of unexplained transfers, while in bereavement.

Setting up a gift package is turning out to be a happy, enjoyable activity, freeing me up in the process to do some of the things I always wanted to do, since I am no longer holding down the fort on so many "no longer necessary" things.